YOUNG ADULTS AND ADDICTIONS
I am opening a new page to address family issues that many of us find ourselves dealing with within our family tree or perhaps even our friends. These are problems within our families that we like to hide under the rug and pretend that there are no problems within our family unit. I am willing to admit that my family has had many crisis involving people within our family that are alcoholics and drug addicts. No matter how well you raise your children they will grow up to make their own choices in life.
God gave all of us the gift of choice, called free will, in the way we choose to live our life no matter how our parents raised us. Many families rich or poor find that their children choose to be good and honest, or deceiving and conniving. We as parents are not responsible for our children’s actions because they have a choice in the way that they live their lives once they have reached a certain age when you can no longer control them as hard as you may try.
We are each our own person and have to learn from our mistakes in order to learn many lessons in our life. We pray that our children will choose to do what is right but many follow the path of their friends and become involved with alcohol, anger issues, drugs, cutting themselves for punishment, hurting others, becoming sexually promiscuous or sexual predators. These actions are their own choice and we can do nothing to stop them.
We fall in love, get married, have children and do the best that we can to raise them to be productive, respectful adults that will make us proud of them as we watch them grow into adulthood. Many parents are very proud of how their young adults grew up to become someone in the workforce to help others and to attain enough status to care for their own families when they decide that it is time to make those choices and fall in love.
A majority of families have one, two or more children that disappoint them as they fall by the way side choosing immoral decisions that may cause them to lead miserable lives and cause pain to the parents and family who love them. We will always love our children unconditionally no matter what they choose in life but we do not have to agree with their life style. We must go on with our lives knowing that we have given them the tools and knowledge that we have taught them to live right, and pray that one day they see and understand what we tried to instill within them.
We can consult with them and let them know our feelings and worries but there is nothing else we can do except not bail them out when they choose to do wrong. We as parents are responsible to allow them to suffer the consequences of their actions praying that the punishment they receive will open their eyes to the choice of becoming a better person. Some will never change and that will break our hearts but others will see the error of their ways and become the adult that we strived so hard to raise and be proud of.
I received a poem from my oldest daughter that for a time was a wonderful mother of our two teen grandsons when they were younger. She then found friends that she chose over her children to share in their addictions. We lost her from our life for many years as we and their father shared raising the boys wondering all of the time if she was eating, where she was living or even alive. She is currently serving her punishment and has found God. We pray and ask for your prayers that when she returns that she will have the strength and fortitude to stay away from her peers and any other temptations. She is a beautiful woman full of talent that can find joy and happiness in her life if she fights with all of her might to stay away from her addictions.
Neither she, nor I ever knew that she was a talented artist or poet until she found God in her life as she struggles through her punishment. Let us pray with all of our hearts that she will not forget God or her talents, and that God guides her to a profitable job where she can find housing and provide for herself and grow to know her children once again.
I pray that she will become a good influence on their lives by showing them that she has made a choice in her life choosing life over addictions and eventually death. She is trying hard to change and wrote a poem that she sent to me that I want to share with those who know or do not know the ravages and destruction that drugs will bring to your life. Please read it through and share it with those who may need to hear the truth about any drug including cocaine. This poem is anonymous with more added to it by my daughter to warn others about the use of any drug.
MY NAME IS COCAINE……….
My name is Cocaine……. Call me Coke for short.
I entered this country without a passport.
Ever since then I’ve made a lot of scum rich, some
have been murdered and found in a ditch.
I’m more valued than diamonds, more treasured than gold, use
me just once and you will be sold.
I’ll make a school boy forget his books, and a beauty queen forget
I’ll take a renowned Speaker and make him a bore. I’ll take a Mother
and make her a Whore.
I’ll make a school Teacher forget how to teach, and make a Preacher
forget how to preach.
I’ll take your rent money and you’ll be evicted, I’ll murder your babies
or they’ll be addicted.
I’ll make you rob, cheat, steal and kill, under my power you will have
Remember my friend, My name is Big ‘C,’ and if you try me one time
You Will Never Be Free!
I’ve destroyed actors, politicians, and many a Hero.
I’ve decreased bank accounts from millions to zero.
I make shooting and stabbing a common affair, once I take charge you
don’t have a prayer.
Now that you know me, what will you choose?
You’ll have to decide, it’s all up to you.
The day you agree to sit in my saddle, the decision is one that no one
Listen to me and PLEASE listen well… –
When you ride with Cocaine you are headed for HELL.
This poem moved me deeply and even taught me more about why our children can not get free from any drug once they choose to use.
I want to bring this to light so that you can watch your preteen and teens for signs of self abuse. This is something that I had never faced nor knew anyone involved with cutting themselves for punishment. They do this to make themselves cry through their pain in their heart. My thirteen year old introduced me to two of her friends that spoke to me about cutting their arms or legs when they remember something tragic that had happened to them as a child or for doing something that they knew was wrong. Children that have been molested, have low self esteem or no friends for reasons we don’t know sometimes. These children need professional help as soon as you realize that this is happening. Please don’t wait until they decide to do something drastic and you no longer have your child. This is a preview of what may come to suicide. They don’t realize that there are other outlets for the pain in their hearts other than to abuse themselves by cutting themselves. If your child is using an unusual amount of Band-Aid’s or is hiding their arms or legs and y acts angry or depressed please talk to them and check their bodies. I spoke with both beautiful young ladies and begged them to listen to their heart and know that they are loved by their parents. I explained different ways of dealing with pain by going to a professional Counselor or Psychiatrist and to tell them that it is alright to be angry and cry without hurting themselves. They both listened and are being counseled and seem to be doing pretty good although these children are great actors and very good at hiding their true feelings. Keep communication open with your children about everything and never hide any facts of life from them so that they know what to expect and how to react. Action brings about reaction and we must teach them how to react appropriately without resorting to hurting themselves or others. Young people are harder to understand these days because they are growing up so much faster than we did and are introduced to sex and drugs way before most of us ever were. We are their parents and foremost their Guardians to raise, love and teach them morals and how to say “No.” I happened upon a site written by teens about cutting by going to my home page and typing in ‘cutting’ or ‘self-mutilation’ and spoke with several confused and unhappy young ladies that broke my heart. You may wish to visit their site sometime to offer them guidance, prayer and love for which they are seeking. Thank you for reading our newly added page and I hope that you have learned something from it that you can take away with you to use and share your love and light. If you wish to e-mail me my address is: firstname.lastname@example.org and I will write back. I would also love to have to let me know if you appreciate this site by writing to me in my guest book. Sincerely, Your friend, Tamara Lesley
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Last Updated June 2005